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Having collected more than 400 random sound bites of Billy Connolly's frank and often humorous statements - using them on my phone and computer (and freaking people out when they signal incoming emails and messages) - I figured I'd share a selection here for fun, since his voice is so distinctive and inspiring.
- It's absolutely brilliant
- All the best
- This was all my fault
- Just always finish what you start...
- And that's the truth
- Goin' like a bat outta hell
- Oh, c'mon, behave yourself
- Are you crazy?
- Are you daft?
- And the rest is...
- Bloody terrible
- Talk about blowing smoke
- Things like that just blow me sideways
- Get outta here, ya big jessie
- Like a blinding flash on the road to Damascus
- But I care not a jot
- Buggered if I know
- Bright eyed and bushy tailed
- Brave or what?
- Bored shitless
- Ah, throw caution to the wind
- Cheer up
- I am the chosen one
- For those of you who can't take a joke
- Call me old fashioned
- Don't even think about it
- Oh, come on
- Don't flatter yourself
- Because you're a cracker
- Don't make it any worse for yourself
- Don't live by your number
- Don't insult my intelligence
- Come back here, ya bunch of bastards
- Don't try this at home
- Everybody must get stoned
- Excuse me
- Dreary
- Every action has an equal and opposite reaction
- It's fabulous
- Fart
- Frankly, it's just not on
- Fancy that
- Get out of here
- Get it out of your system
- It's given me such pleasure
- Get a life
- Hello darling
- It's heart-stopping
- You wanna be hittin' this?
- Good for you
- Givin' me brain damage here
- You can say that again
- You couldn't hit a cow in the ass with a banjo
- I'm a work in progress
- You're in trouble, that's what you are
- It's wonderful
- What am I talking about?
- Windswept and interesting
- Who are we to judge?
- What? Now?
- We pass this way but once
- You should be able to laugh at life; it's funny
- There's no such thing as normal
- Right, let's go
- I had the time of my life
- Trust me
- I'm an angel
- It's good fun
- Good gear, this
- I've got the horrors
- Oh, there's a great idea
- Let's give it a bash
- I'm your guardian angel
- With my hand on my heart, I swear it is true
- I just love it
- Oh, I love a good rant
- It takes my breath away
- I haven't got all day
- Oh, is that for me?
- I'm an open-minded person
- In an uncertain world, it's good to know some things never change
- All there really is: love and friendship...
- Oh, is that right?
- I'm only kidding
- You need to live more and think less
- Try and learn from my mistakes
- Reality, I find, is always funnier than jokes
- Oh, I love you
- There goes lunch
- Life's supposed to be fun
- Now you're talking
- No disrespect intended
- You should be able to laugh at life; it's funny
- I love optimism
- Life's precious
- I thought I knew such a lot
- Mind you own... business
- This is what you have to do: make the world the way you want it
- This is just the nightmare
- It's nothing personal
- My heart stopped
- Isn't that beautiful
- Such bad boys
- It's such a joy
- Life doesn't have punchlines
- This is just scary
- Thank heaven for small mercies
- Cut to the chase, darling
- Do as you damned well please
- I have a little party in my heart
- What you're thinking must be true
- You can do exactly as you please
- Well, that's a fascinating question
- Completely different box of frogs
- I'm gonna have a wee rabbit with ya
- How you gonna get outta here
- My words turn you on, do they?
- A vision, if ever I had one
- Don't give up
- Think about it
- This will never work
- To die for
- Because I'm normally up to no good
- Stop laughin', ya prick